Vulnerability and Transparency

Samhain

(pronounced Sow-en) marks the ancient Celtic New Year. It sits between the Autumn Equinox and the Winter Solstice, when the sun lowers, the harvest is complete, and the land begins its winter slumber...

It is the moment during the ever-spinning Wheel of the Year when the veil between worlds thins. Life and death, light and shadow, seen and unseen, all meet. It invites us to listen inward, honor our ancestors, and let go of what no longer feels harmonious.

In the rhythm of the moons, Samhain usually aligns with the dark moon of late October or early November. In earth-based traditions, it is considered the true New Year, a time to plant intentions quietly in the dark soil, as the Lily does, before the light and warmth of Spring return.

For me, Samhain, or Halloween (All Hallows' Eve), is not about costumes or candy. It is about truth—looking at what we keep hidden and asking what still serves.

Lately, that theme has followed me everywhere. Watching Game of Thrones for the first time, I'm shocked at how often the word Whore is used like a butcher's knife. It is spoken with disgust, violence, meant to strip a woman of worth or humanity.

Yet the word has older roots. It once described women who held sacred space for desire and confession. In some of the oldest stories, after returning from battle, the warrior would go to her not for conquest but for healing. In her arms, he laid down the violence, the hardness, the mask of survival, and returned to his gentleness. She nurtured him back to his humanity, his softness, and his family—renewed. In her arms, he could let his armor and responsibilities as a protector down for a moment.

The whore has always been both healer and mirror. She reflects what others repress. And for that, she is punished.

The Secret Space

In my journey over the past twenty-six years in the murky shadows of the ever-secret sex work space, I have learned that my clients desperately need a place to tell the truth and lay down their sword. Every culture has had one, a temple, a bathhouse, a bedroom, a treatment room. Somewhere private where the body can speak without judgment.

For some, that space is erotic. For others, it is emotional or spiritual. Often it is all three.

There is relief when someone finally feels safe enough to exhale. When they stop performing strength or control and allow themselves to feel human again, that moment is what keeps me in this work. You can feel the armor melt, the shoulders drop, the breath deepen, and the real person begin to show.

Because these spaces are private, they are easily misunderstood. Society fears what it cannot regulate. It projects shame onto anyone who creates or enters these rooms of raw honesty. The woman who holds that space becomes the target. She is labeled the sinner, the temptress, the whore.

But she is really the mirror, the witness, the one who offers sanctuary for the parts others cannot yet face in daylight.

Samhain reminds us to look directly at those shadows. The secret space is not about deception; it is about permission. It is where truth is born quietly before it is ready to stand in the light.

The Shadow Line

Privacy and hiding are not the same. One is about respect; the other about avoidance.

I have seen both. Some clients come with courage, ready to explore their truth. Others come tangled in deception, trying to escape the promises they have made.

I do not condone breaking those promises. Honesty is sacred. When someone violates faithfulness, they fracture their own integrity. But I also see that most infidelity is not born of cruelty. It grows from distance, unmet needs, and fear of speaking honestly before things break.

My clients are not always chasing sex. They are chasing presence, wanting to feel seen and alive. Yet when that need hides behind lies, what could be healing becomes harm.

My role has always been to hold awareness at that edge. To recognize when a session turns into a confession. In those moments, I bring truth into the room rather than colluding with the illusion.

The secret itself is not always the sin. It is what we do with it that matters. A private space can open the way to healing or become another hiding place. The difference is intention and honesty.

Reframing the Word

When I hear whore, I feel the centuries of judgment behind it. The insult is almost always aimed at the woman, even when the choice to betray belongs to the man. He breaks the promise; she bears the blame.

This pattern has followed us through history. The accusation slides downhill until it lands on the woman who cannot fight back. She becomes the convenient symbol for everyone’s discomfort with desire.

The truth is simple. The whore is not the cause of betrayal. She is the mirror that shows what is already broken. She is not a threat to fidelity; she is a test of it.

The original “whore” was not a sinner but a caretaker of connection — a woman who understood the link between body, emotion, and spirit. Culture lost that meaning when it began to fear women who owned their power. Dividing them into saints and sinners made it easier to control both.

Even now, that echo remains. Many still carry an unconscious disgust toward any woman who refuses to apologize for her sensuality. But the word itself can be reclaimed. To speak it without flinching is to reclaim the right to truth. It says, I am not your secrecy. I am your reflection.

Samhain is the right time for this remembering. The veil lifts, and the ghosts of cultural shame rise. We have a chance to see them clearly and let them go.

Transparency as Liberation

There came a point when I could no longer live divided. The healer, the artist, the sensual woman — they all belong to the same life.

For a long time I tried to keep separate identities. One name for work, another for what I loved. But separation became its own sickness. Transparency became my medicine.

Not exposure for attention, but honest alignment. The kind that begins with forgiving yourself for every mask you ever wore.

When I shifted from adult work into health and detox coaching, I was not changing paths. I was merging them. Both are about release — helping people feel safe enough to let go of what is heavy. Sometimes that weight lives in the body, sometimes in the gut, sometimes in the heart.

Today my work still follows the same thread: helping people tell the truth, first to themselves and then to the people they love. Detox is not only physical. It is emotional and energetic too.

Transparency brings everything back into one piece. It clears the residue of shame and secrecy that keeps people small. It allows them to live in integrity instead of reaction.

That is the liberation I believe in now. Not perfection, but freedom through honesty. Because you cannot cleanse the body while the heart is still holding secrets. You have to clear it all — body, mind, and soul — to feel truly free.

A Samhain Ritual

Samhain is a time to face what’s been left unsaid — the words, the habits, the stories that still weigh on us. You don’t need a long ceremony. Just a small act of truth.

Light a candle.
Sit somewhere quiet.
Write down one thing you’ve been hiding — from your partner, a friend, or yourself. Maybe it’s something small, maybe it’s something big. The size doesn’t matter.

Read it out loud.
Then say,

“I see you. I release you.”

Burn the paper safely and let the smoke rise.
You don’t have to have it all figured out; you only have to be willing to see what’s real.

That’s the work — bringing light to what’s been buried. That’s how we detox from shame.

The Transparent Heart

Vulnerability is not weakness. It’s the courage to be honest, even when it’s uncomfortable.

Transparency is not confession or oversharing. It’s living in alignment — being the same person in private as you are in public.

Every time we choose honesty, we strengthen trust — with ourselves, our partners, and our communities. Every time we avoid it, we add another layer between us and a real connection.

This Samhain, may your secret spaces become places of healing, not hiding.
May your words match your truth.
May you choose integrity over image.

That is the heart of this season — clearing what is false, keeping what is true, and beginning again lighter, clearer, freer.

With Love & Liberty

Jen Coombe ✨ alias ~ Jennadea

Author’s Note

This piece is part of my Samhain reflections on emotional detox and integrity — exploring how transparency heals both the body and the heart. Join me live for November’s Full Moon Healing Circle on YouTube, where we’ll explore “The Sacred Space of Surrender and Vulnerability.”